40. “Am I Raising An Ungrateful Child!?”: How to Get Your Child to Say “Thank You” (Without Forcing It!)

November 23, 20221 min read
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We all want our kids to be polite & kind, and this includes saying “thank you” when appropriate. In fact, many of us were raised to believe that “good kids always say ‘thank you,’” so we might feel triggered when our child can’t, won’t, or doesn’t thank someone when we expect them to. We can start to wonder: Am I raising an ungrateful child??

In today’s episode, I dive into what it looks like to help our kids recognize, connect with, and (eventually!) express feelings of gratitude. I talk about our role as parents in helping our kids tap into their gratitude (spoiler alert: It’s not forcing them to “go say thank you!”) and how we can do this in a way that doesn’t leave us (or our child) looking ungrateful at the holiday gift exchange.

Here’s the thing: Gratitude is a feeling. And we can’t force our kids to feel anything. What we can do is model noticing & verbalizing things we feel grateful for and help our kids learn to recognize when they’re feeling grateful. If we do this, our kids will eventually start to express real, honest gratitude all on their own.

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